Remember when the creation of a movie based on the board game Battleship was first announced and everyone thought it was a really, really bad idea. Everyone was right.

Battleship is guaranteed to bore you to tears, it takes forty-five dull minutes before the Navy vs. space invaders throw down finally begins. Peter Berg’s spectacle movie is filled with lots of loud explosions, elaborate effect shots that feels like B-reels from other better films and laughable character development. The board game origins are an obvious culprit and this is where the story (or lack of) is based on the map grids, that gets worse with each new layer. With epic disasters like the nuclear meltdown, I remember that from the board game… oh, wait. To the menacing alien invasion of deadly space killships that one breaks up on contact, not a good start to global conquest. The surviving four space ships set up an impenetrable shield around Hawaii so they can lob a series of giant razor bladed globes into our major cities. The only hope is a single Navy destroyer, trapped inside the shield during a war game and Commander Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch), a stubborn and hotheaded young man who’s made a habit of screwing up his life.  Poor Taylor Kitsch isn’t having a great year in movies right now!

In a logical world, these aliens would be so technologically superior the Earth would be toast. But clearly there is no logic because in the final approach the Navy ship maneuvers in a way that in any rational universe the keel would be ripped straight out of the hull. Battleship applies no thought to how or why mayhem exists.  Even Liam Neeson’s cameo as Admiral Shane, the man in charge of the entire Pacific fleet was lost.

In the end, we the movie going public lose in the incomprehensible battle between very pretty Naval personnel and possibly the dumbest alien invaders since Independence Day.  Just go see Avengers another time.

Natascha McGregorMoviesAvengers,based on a game,Battleship,Independence Day,Liam Neeson,Peter Berg,Taylor Kitsch
Remember when the creation of a movie based on the board game Battleship was first announced and everyone thought it was a really, really bad idea. Everyone was right. Battleship is guaranteed to bore you to tears, it takes forty-five dull minutes before the Navy vs. space invaders throw down finally begins. Peter Berg's spectacle...